The Craziness

If you read here on occasion, you know that I use this space to "talk", to "think", to brainstorm and to show off handiwork.

I really don't mean for this space to be depressing, but I am I guess what would be called "depressed". I realize that there are great meds out on the market, but I choose not to use them as the ones I have tried in the past haven't help and if anything they have made things worse. Not to mention that a pill doesn't fix the problem...kind of like gastric bypass for people with emotionally charged eating...it doesn't fix the inside stuff...

I'm noticing lately that what I call "the craziness", my personal title for what goes on in my head, seems to be changing...and I'm not sure if it's changing for the better or the worse...maybe that's a good thing. I don't know.

I would like to think that I am working through issues and getting some things straightened out in my head but I don't know. I have such a feeling of being out of control right now.

We finally got our replacement stove this week and D had to go to 3 hardware stores to find a coupler to get it hooked up. Total craziness. In the midst of all of this the statement of "I have spent too much time and resources on this damned stove. Before I met you I never used one." Yeah...make me feel great. Out of character I respond..."add this to the list of things that I have Fxxxed up in your world." Not exactly the best way to handle that.

Just cause I'm a big girl doesn't mean my feelings don't get hurt...

I also know that the craziness is changing because I am looking for about 7000 yards of lace weight yarn.  There is a group on Ravelry called "The Princess Diaries 2.0".  "The Queen Susan Shawl" is speaking to me, not literally...not that far gone yet...but I want to knit this.

As soon as I finish "Crazy Train", "Coming Home" and Stroller Blanket...I am pretty sure that "The Queen Susan Shawl" is going to be in order.  Of course I also have 8oz of beautiful blue merino/silk roving that I want to spin to make a shawl. D got the roving for me for my birthday.

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN