This morning I was watching an old episode of a travel show and the hosts "aura" was brought up. She sat in a chair and things were done and a photo of her aura was taken. Fortunately, her aura was all rainbows, a very good place.
I am pretty sure that my aura at this moment in life is NOT a rainbow. I would lean very toward a very black aura. I have been very blue and working on trying to get out of being blue. I don't want to take medication for this because I don't understand how a serotonin blocker works, especially when serotonin is what is supposed to make us feel happy. I also don't like the fact that you can't just stop taking it. You see, I have taken such meds before and all that has happened is either I'm a zombie or I feel worse.
I know why I'm blue. I'm 40, morbidly obese, I ache (due to the obesity issue) and unemployed. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, these are not that big of an issue. People all over the world have it much, much worse than I do...I feel somewhat selfish by "voicing" my blueness, but I need to get it out. To purge myself of the blueness in a sense.
40, well this is out of my control. I'll reconcile this.
Unemployed, with the job market so flooded with people looking for a job, it's a horrible thing trying to find a job. R my daughter has suggested that I start and etsy shop, and I may. I need to get something out on Craigslist about teaching knitting, crocheting, sewing ect...Needless to say the job hunt continues...
Morbidly obese...such an ugly term...Morbidly obese...hmmm...this one, this is in my control. I am proud to say that I have been drinking more water. I have a terrible addiction to soda and I would really rather drink soda as anything else. I have been drinking a non-calorie soda, but I really thing that in the volume that I have a habit of drinking it, the artificial sweetener in it is causing part of the aching that I am experiencing. I need to start weening myself off of soda. Seriously, I imagine the CFO of a certain red and white soda company panicking at the thought of me cutting back on my soda intake, tee!
I need to try some of the carbonated waters on the market and see if they take care of the addiction. I also need to pull out the sun tea jar. Combat the soda with unsweetened ice tea with either lemon or lime.
I have been doing some exercise. Big plus...I am in hope that using the joints that ache will make them not ache quite so bad...or something else will hurt and I won't notice it. I have been working in my flower beds, my mail man approves. It's really comical to see this huge woman out in the yard, floppy hat, long sleeves, gloves, a wagon for the waste to take to my compost pile sitting on a stool working in a flower bed...Glad I can add humor to someones day.
I am going to "audition" the space I'm going to turn into my tomato bed. Basically, I'm going to go lay wet newspaper over the grass and weight them down to kill the grass so it's easier to get up. Then the fun begins! Digging, double digging and getting a nice loose soil created to plant my tomatoes. 6 plants, I have hope!!
Crazy Train is coming along nicely. I am on the blue central motif and really enjoying the knit. It's moving along quickly and it's really a lot of fun showing it to people and seeing the look of confusion when you explain it's going to be a baby blanket...right now...it's a tube. :)
Once I complete the knitting the pattern calls for you to steek the whole thing and add a backing.
As I have never steeked anything, I am terrified, but in a really good roller coaster ride kind of way. I will post pictures. I have hopes of having this completed by mid May. I have remarkably been quite faithful to this project. Mind you, I do have a whopping 27 other things started...no really, 27...I counted. Hmmm...maybe I should list them for all to see! Maybe that would motivate me to finish up a few things.
Of course though, I sorted a few boxes of my stash the other day and discovered a shawl pattern that I now have and overwhelming urge to start. I have the yarn in stash! I have the needles! I wouldn't have to buy anything!!! Of course, casting on 992 stitches...bit of a hmmmmm moment. Got to think about this for a minute.
S and I have been playing with the ball winder that D got me for my birthday. Lots of fun! S also started a new scarf of her own design...I am so proud of her!
I am still spinning the orange that I have been working on for what seems like a lifetime, this isn't helped by the fact that I have two new bags of roving I want to spin...
Well, I have dishes to do, clothes to wash and a tomato bed to create...
Not to mention dragons to tend...TTFN