I don't remember putting in the application to become an adult...I REALLY don't remember ever asking to turn 40, which I will on Friday. Someone stop the bus, I missed my stop!
I guess that I am a bit of an odd duck. I find that the birthday's that end with either a "5" or a "0" are really hard for me. It's really strange. I have always been like that. 15 was hard, 20 sucked, 25 was awful...30 I still haven't recovered from...there is a hell of a story behind 30, 35 I cried all week...and now 40...Good Lord.
My very dear friend N asked me the other day how I felt about turning 40...I thought it was an excellent question...Hmmmm...how do I feel turning 40???
I have to say that in the grand scheme of things that I never thought that at 40 I would be unemployed, starting basically over, 300 lbs...aka...morbidly obese, nor did I expect to have a grandchild on the way. I didn't expect to be as blue as I am these days...I am sure that I can pinpoint a few reasons that I am blue, but hey, knowing I am blue is half the battle. I didn't expect at 40 to acquire a weight related injury...the so called "heal spur" is not really a heal spur...it is a pain caused by lack of arch support and being overweight...especially in women. At 40 I didn't expect to have to pluck everyday because of the lack of estrogen or the presence of testosterone. I really didn't expect my attitude to be as tainted and bad as it is at this very moment in time. To name just a few.
On the flip side of this grand scheme of things...I'm gonna be a Nana!! Pretty cool stuff. Timing could definitely been better, but mommy and baby are both good. R, my oldest daughter, for the first time in a very, very long time...is ok. She tells me that for the first time in a very long time she can just breath...That fact alone makes all other things pail in comparison. There were many days that I really, really worried that she would do something awful. On being unemployed...well, the job market sucks...no one is calling for interviews...I am giving thought to the fact that maybe I should take this time to go back to school. On being morbidly obese...well, I must have enough to have food in the house or I wouldn't be 300 lbs...the weight related injury...yeah...God's way of saying maybe it's time I do something different...Got the message. My bad attitude and being blue...well, hopefully these will pass...of course menopause lasts how long???
I find that I am very restless these days and crave change. Which for me is really strange as I hate change and surprises. April Fool baby here...yes, that's right...my birthday is April 1. I had sick friends in high school too...
There are days that I feel really weary and old, but for the most part I think blue sums it up.
I have been very introverted this week. Thinking about things and things that I would like to change. There has to be some change in my life or I am going to snap...I just have to figure out what the changes are going to be.
Now...on a lighter note...
"A Friend to Knit With" asking if I would like a drop spindle...Yes, yes I would!! It came yesterday! What a wonderful way to start the week before my birthday than with a gift!!
I started to pre-draft the roving when it dawned on me that I needed to take a picture of it. I have to say that I found getting started with it a lot easier than I expected to. I think it is really very cool to be able to create yarn while watching TV or talking without being tied to a wheel. Mind you I love my wheel, but I will definitely be using this drop spindle a lot. I can see adding more drop spindles to create a new obsession...I mean collection. The drop spindle also seems to interest my daughter S. Who knows? We may have a spinner out of her yet?!