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Monday, January 23, 2012

The Tale of Weight Gain...at least last weeks

Yes, I gained weight...Yes, I am MAJORLY wigged by this fact...Unfortunately, I know why I gained weight last week...

I had a cocky food week last week. I was feeling over confident by the first two weeks and loosing weight. I ate sugar 3 or 4 times and I really don't know what it is other than pure addiction, but that throws me for a loop every time.  I drank soda 3 or 4 times...I know better. I didn't eat fiber filled foods so things didn't "flow" as they should have.

I knew on Wednesday that I was going to gain weight. I somewhat panicked and thought really hard about, as in I caught myself reaching for, using a laxative to purge. Heck, I thought about purging. Yes, I have done these things before. I'm not proud of it, but I have.

I decided NOT to use a laxative and I decided NOT to purge but to cope with it. It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me feel stronger. I feel like sh*& for gaining 1.2 lbs of weight...and I shouldn't. Life happens...but I do.

This morning, I made the rice bowl for breakfast. High fiber, high flavor and savory. I had coffee without sweetener or cream and I have my trusty water glass next to me. I am going to do my best to get back on track and make conscious decisions to make better food choices.

Like I said before...going public with my weight loss is not easy for me, but I feel like it keeps me feeling accountable, as odd as that may sound.

Today I will use the bow flex. I will take care of me. I will NOT beat myself up anymore about gaining 1.2 lbs of weight. I will shake it off and go on.

*sigh* always sounds so much better and easier than it actually is.

Gotta do homework, I'm the dumba@# that decided to take 18 hours AND loose 100 lbs...yeah...TTFN

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