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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Sad...lonely...Alice

Long time, no blog.

Life and dragons can be a challenge. I've also been really, really blue. While blue is a nice color and all, when you can't get away from it...that can be a problem...And it's been a problem.

I got a really poor review at work...when my boss S asked me if I wanted to keep my job or not, I took 4 days to decide to keep it.

I'm so sad some days that I just can't stand it. I try to shake it. But no matter how hard I try I just can't.

I've been having anxiety attacks. That's a new one on me. The first time it happened I thought I was having a heart attack. My chest hurt, I couldn't breathe...I was terrified. They happen alot these days.

There are days that I am so angry that I just want to kick something or someone. I just want to be left alone...those seem to be the days that everyone needs something.

Inane such awful feelings of self worth. I feellike everything that goes wrong is my fault. I know it isn't, but it still feels like it.

I ant to make changes in my life but I don't know how and I'm too scared to try because I might upset someone...

There are so many things that I have to say, that I want to say and I'm just to afraid to open my mouth. I